I dont have I.T. yet but the negativity has already begun!

From what I have heard, the life of a mother to Irish Twins is most often met with some sort of negativity, like "Oh you poor thing!" "Oh you must be SOOO busy" or even the occasional "Well that's dumb" or "Shame on you!" If not that, then it is met with positivity/ relation such as "Aw, I bet they will be/are so close!" Or "Mine are 13 months apart. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on..." or if you are lucky, "Mine are 15 months apart and they love eachother so much and do everything together!"

When I found out I was pregnant, 4 pregnancy tests I 3 hours and 3 brands later, when Jonny was only a couple months old I was in total shock. My thoughts ranged from shock and upset: "Oh, no, I'm not ready to be pregnant again! I hated being pregnant!" to DISBELIEF: "WAIT, HOW FAR APART WILL THEY BE!?" to guilt and DUH!: "Well, I wasn't preventing pregnancy so what did I expect?" to some bit of excitement: "Aw Jonny will have a playmate!" and even to fear: "Labor was the most physically traumatized and painful thing I have ever experienced, AHH!!!"

But Jonathan and I agreed, as we always have, that every child is a gift from our Father and if it happened, it is a part of his plan. We agreed that we would accept this child with nothing but open arms full of love and excitement.

We decided not to tell our family until we were further along. And friends, until we were much further along, because we knew to expect some form of negativity, from someone. And at this point I wasn't even ready to accept it mentally, myself!

At 10 weeks, we told our families and they were SURPRISINGLY even MORE excited about this baby than Jonny!! Don't get me wrong, they all love babies, but when we announced we were pregnant only 2 months after we were married there was a lot of shock going around, for everyone! But now that they know we are capable, alert, and loving parents and of COURSE what a cute and sweet baby we already have, they were MORE excited. My mom, who hung up on me, practically, when I told her I was pregnant the first time cause she couldn't even talk, started crying and said "I'm so happy". It was such a tender moment. Of everyone in the whole world- HER approval was the one I most cared about. We have always been close, save for a few teenage years, but hearing YOUR own mother, approve of your job as a mom, and be SO happy that you are going to be a mom again, and so soon, was all I needed to hear to be confident. Her reaction changed my heart in one moment. I went from scared and fearful and apprehensive to happy, excited and actually having to hold the news in.

Of course fear would creep in and I would constantly remind myself that Jonny wouldn't be 4 months, he would be 12, almost, when this baby came. And I would do it just as I did it the first time. And as a friend told me, with 3 babies under 3, "You no longer judge yourself, you just take one day at a time, and you SURVIVE. That is your mission EVERY DAY!" That was helpful. EVery day I learn to lower my expectations of myself, not try to be Rachel Ray in the kitchen, Dear Abby in the household chores, Nicole Kidman as a Stepford Wife with my husband, Gisele Bundchen in my baby weight loss, and all while being a full time mom and keeping my hair and makeup done and wearing only jeans and a cute top. Most days I don't do anything but take care of my son, clean his bottles, get a load of laundry in, order take-out and send my hubby to the grocery store- all while wearing yoga pants and a hoodie with spit up and puffs all over it. But every day I strive to help Jonny learn things, love on my husband and stay reminded of those little sayings/poems like, Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.


by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

and "Good moms have sticky floors, dirt ovens and happy kids".

It helps to keep things in perspective. You can ALWAYS clean the kitchen, but your 6 month old will not always be wanting a cuddle or a kiss or some time learning to sit up.

But I should stay on topic. So I knew there would be some negativity involved in this announcement and I honestly contemplated pulling some kind of thing of actually not announcing my pregnancy until the baby was born! REALLY! But my mom was SO excited to tell people that she kept bugging me and I realized it wasn't fair to make her keep that in much longer. So we made the decision to announce it after we found out that gender. We did this is hopes that the announcement and the shock would be somewhat deferred by the GENDER being announced. It went just fine and most people were happy even if I did get the occasional "That was fast!" or "Youre a baby-making machine." All meant in jest and fun, im sure, but its hard to hear too, cuase of course I don't want to be looked at as a HEIFER (pregnant cow) or be told I'm a sex addict which is sorta what "baby-making machine" sounds like.

But that was only the beginning. At my ultrasound appointment to find out the gender of this baby, we encountered an old lady, at the counter in line in front of us. Of course she smiled at Jonny and then asked us why we were there. I said I was there for an ultrasound. She looked at my "barely-showing-probably-mostly-leftovers-from-Jonny" belly and looked at Jonny and back at my belly and HUMPFED and said "Well, you're as dumb as I was!

Wow, um, ok. Thank you! What do you even say to that? She proceeded to tell us she had five kids, was formerly a Navy nurse and that once I had "THIS ONE" and pointed to my belly" I should "take her advice and QUIT."

Alrighty, then. Thank you! You're so kind and gentle. And well-wishing. But I am choosing to not be angry or even annoyed and laugh it off because I need to toughen up my skin! Getting married after not only MEETING ONLINE, but after knowing each other only 6 months, and then welcoming your first child 10 months later and then getting pregnant with your 2nd only 2 months after that? Well, the world doesn't like people like me! They think im immature, dumb, desperate, and probably many other things. But you know what? You have only ONE life to live and you must live it making decisions YOU are accountable for and do things that YOU want to live with.

Im sure this is only the beginning! So we'll see what lovely comments come my way in the future!