Then comes BABY in the baby carriage!

On July 9th 2011, I took a pregnancy test and was due for my period that day or the next. I was at my in-laws house preparing for a trip to the mid-west to celebrate my husband's grandma's 80th birthday. I didn't invite Jonathan into the bathroom. He was on the 3rd floor showering and although I always envisioned having my husband stand there and look at the test with me, for some reason I just took it alone. Maybe I didn't want to wait :)

Whatever the reason I peed on the little stick and set it in the windowsill, following the directions carefully. I waited about five minutes, cause I wanted to make sure it was definitely right. And I read on the package that no matter HOW faint the line was, if there was a second line, you ARE pregnant! I finally got up the courage and picked the test up. I looked at it and sure enough there was the FAINTEST pink little line there. It was only visible if you tilted it a certain way, into the light. But it was there! Before I got too giddy, I went upstairs and into the bathroom. Jonathan was standing there brushing his teeth and I held the test out. He looked at it and I said "They said even if it is faint, if theres a line, you are pregnant." He got the biggest, sweetest smile on his face (that I have only ever seen one other time, and that is when I modeled my new one-piece pregnancy bathing suit, with my big belly! Which he thought was the most precious thing he had ever seen) and we hugged. We talked about who we we should tell or if we should wait a little bit but both decided we would at least tell his sister Susie. She was still sleeping in the next room but we went in and woke her anyway. That's an occasion to wake someone if I ever knew one :)

Over the course of the next two weeks we told all of our family and the family we visited. When we were at West Point together near the end of August, and I was ten weeks along, we decided to announce it to the world, via facebook. The response was mostly positive, though there were of course the usual- "Wow, that was fast" response, from some. But we let it roll off our backs, because we were happy to do what we felt was following God's design for having children. Welcoming every blessing without worrying about timing. God's timing and plan are as good as it gets. And we're at peace with that.

From 2 days after I found out until 13 weeks, I was so sick, from morning to night. The only foods I ever discovered that helped were Greek yogurt, which I was always a fan of, but it was very helpful. Lots of bagels and about as many popsicles as one can eat in a day. For the week that I was in the guesthouse at West Point (HOTEL) I spent probably 65 percent of it sleeping, and the other 20 percent of it in the shower, sitting, eating popsicles constantly, and the other 15 percent watching tv, trying to take my mind off of the terrible nausea that was overwhelming all my senses. There were times when I thought- "I wish I could go back and not be pregnant right now." or "I don't know if I can ever do this again." Its sad to think now, but it just proves how even my life dream coming true wasn't enough to distract me from how utterly miserable I was. In Kenya from weeks 7-9 of the pregnancy I was overwhelmed with my strong sense of smell. They don't wear deodorant there so every armpit, every sewer, every unwashed dog, ever onion being cooked- it all literally made me weak in the knees. Some days, although we were supposed to be selflessly serving, I stayed back in my sisters bed sleeping in, crying, moaning, and writing letters to my husband. Anything to take my mind off it. Sleep was very helpful! Some nights the misery was so great... ok a lot of nights.. that I went to sleep at 6pm. Being so tired all the time helped me. I tried to keep my eyes focused on the future and thinking about the baby, the nursery, names, the gender etc. And eventually it did pass.


But the worst was yet to come.
 When we got back to Fort Wayne, I went to my first OB appointment. I thought it was normal to receive a first ultrasound around 10 or 12 weeks to check the age of the baby, as well as to make sure you aren't having twins. But they said it wasn't normal. When my doctor said that I literally started to cry. I had my whole family on standby waiting to hear if I saw our baby! My doctor was so kind that he said "Well, I will write that the age of the baby is unknown, so they may cover it, if you want to risk paying for it." We said, WITHOUT a doubt! We could not wait. The took us in and did the ultrasound. Jonny was literally bouncing up and down on his head and then flipped onto his back to give us a butt shot! The lady told us that though "you can't technically tell the gender this early, she had three boys and knew all three were males at 12 weeks. That was our clue that what we had seen was indeed boy parts. You tell me!





Our baby boy at 12 weeks old! What a sweet shot! the lady said "I NEVER get that shot this early!" Sweet boy!

I had a 16 week appointment, that was rather uneventful but I learned that in 16 weeks I had only gained 3 lbs. I was pretty excited about that. My doctor said, of weight gain during pregnancy, "Pretend you are training for a marathon. Would you gain 50 pounds for a marathon? No, you would eat healthy and maintain a reasonable activity level. Eat and aim for 10 pounds. But be happy with 20." I thought that was lofty advice, but good nonetheless. Being that a normal span of labor is 20-30 hours, of intense physical exertion, it doesn't make much sense to put on 50 pounds, unless you actually need it. My goal at this point, at 178, was to not go over 200. That meant I could gain 22 pounds.

My next appointment was at 19 weeks and it was the routine check to make sure all the organs are there, check for a cleft-palate, find out the gender, if possible. It was such an amazing experience. It's really hard for me to understand, at least for someone who has had a child, how they can believe that this little baby inside of you, is not alive. He was moving around and putting his hands by his face, kicking his legs. We were so excited to announce what we were having and both of us were so grateful that God chose to give us a boy first. Both of us wanted to have an oldest son to watch over all our other kids like a big brother can do. So we were very pleased.

Here was our 19 week old baby boy! He would be named after his daddy! He only opened his legs once for his photo so we were lucky we got it! Otherwise he would have been called a girl!

At around 20 weeks, when we got to South Carolina for Jonathan's CHBOLC training, I started to have some pain in my groin/upper thigh area where some tendons/ ligaments are. The pain began as just some discomfort. But over time the intensity of the pain and the frequency, as well as when in the day it began (morning vs. evening) began to change. Over the course of just 4 weeks, what began as some mild discomfort changed into the inability to take a step without some sort of pain. It went from being just in the evenings to being all day long. And it became almost unbearable. I couldn't even put on underwear or pants (stand on one leg) or sit on the bed and pull them up (lift one leg) without intense pain. I read that it was normal, common "round ligament pain." I let it go and suffered through it and decided I would talk to my doctor about it when i got back to Fort Wayne in a month.

It was all becoming really real by this point. 26 weeks. Both Jonathan and I were feeling the baby kick regularly and I had a big belly to prove I was pregnant! I had fun showing it off while shopping around for cute baby clothes! Everyone loves a pregnant woman!

When I got back to Fort Wayne and I described to him how i felt and what i was unable to do, now, in terms of everyday activities like walking and putting on clothes, he prescribed both physical therapy and Vicodin for bad times. At this point I was around 30 weeks. He said that specific narcotics would not affect the baby at this point in my pregnancy and that we would monitor my intake. We spent Christmas in Fort Leavenworth Kansas with my in-laws. It was a hard Christmas. We were going to move to a real house when we got back to FTW and i couldn't wait to set up the nursery. I was nesting hardcore by this point. I was also in almost constant pain and having trouble using stairs. I tried exercising and using the elliptical machine at the gym but I would be in such pain later that I would cry myself to sleep. Needless to say, the Vicodin didn't do a thing for me! It didn't even make me tired! But the impeding arrival of our sweet boy was enough to help me look on the bright side of things.

When we got back to Fort Wayne we moved into a house and I started working on the nursery, getting all the last minute things for him, getting lots of sleep and going to physical therapy. I even tried Percocet for the pain, which is stronger and that had the same effect on me at Vicodin: NOTHING. It was really frustrating but it was encouraging at PhysTher when they were able to diagnose my issues, adjust my pelvis and even do internal therapy to relax all my pelvic floor muscles that were so tight, they were spasming on a regular basis- which by the way- feel like legit FIRE. After Physical Therapy for 3 weeks, and wearing a belt to hold my pelvis in place, I began doing much better. It had been on such a downhill slope since 20 weeks that I never thought I could go backward or at least stay where it was. Everyday was a challenge, but again, I knew what the end result was! And God helped me remember that daily. I definitely had my moments, where I thought I could probably never do this again. I regularly cried myself to sleep, consoling myself with the thought "Tomorrow I will call Doctor Stroud and tell him how much pain I'm in and he will understand and they will induce me. and then it will end." Even more than meeting Jonny, honestly, what go me through was knowing it would end. I could keep going through it for just a few more weeks, as long as it would end!!!! The Physical Therapist assured me it would end after I had him. If I breastfed though, the hormones would take longer to leave my body and it might take longer for the pain to leave. I figured I would cross that bridge when I got there.

Finally I was in the home stretch. 38 weeks! He was almost here! I couldn't believe I had made it this far! Pregnancy is one of the most challenging things I have ever been through and it gives me respect for EVERY woman who has ever done it!
 

I made the decision to be induced a little less than a week early, because living near NO family, I didn't want to do it alone and have no one I loved, besides my hubby, there to meet our baby when he was born. Those sort of things should never be shared alone! So on March 15, 2012 I entered the hospital at 6am and began the induction. I entered the hospital at 3cm, so my body had no problem going into labor easily. I didn't progress very quickly, but as a first-time mom, that isn't expected. After a very long, 15 hour, painful labor, we welcomed our little 7lb, 11oz, 21in long, QUIET baby boy Jonny (Jonathan) Eberhardt Shaw III. He had the biggest cone head I had ever seen, was SO wide-eyed and didn't even make a peep! He had no blood on him or anything other than clear fluid and I remember that shocked me! He was so perfect. And my life has NEVER been the same since!