1. Don't take the advice of another mom, as gospel. Many moms think differently than you and prioritize certain things, that you don't share. For instance, many moms do not value naps. But they do value portability. They bring their babies everywhere- tired or not. they keep them up til they feel like putting them down. And Ive found that often these babies give up naps all together as early as one year old. But studies have shown, and trust me, ive read them, that sleep is SO crucial to a 0-3 year old. Good sleep habits help SO many things: focus, self-control, mood, and many other things. They help babies to retain information and learn at quicker rates.
This is not meant as a judgment for ANY other moms, but I have found myself feeling guilty, like maybe I should let him skip naps when I need him to, but then I remind myself, we all pick our battles. If it worked for you, and you have a healthy, happy baby, and a good marriage and are not a worry-wart, then great. By all means, do what is best for you and your family. But I thrive on structure, and many babies do as well. I like to create a predictable environment to foster learning and development for my son. He is not in control of his surroundings and he does not know what is good for him so I choose to be a parent that makes the best decisions for him, and put myself second. I will always, also, put my marriage, or at least strive to, put my marriage before my kids. And that means good naps, so I can accomplish chores and daily tasks, so that he has a reasonable bedtime and good consistent sleep= so that my husband and I can always count on several hours before our bedtime to bond, talk, catch up, eat dinner together, watch a movie- whatever it is we want to do.
2. ALWAYS trust your own instincts before you trust advice that doesn't click with what you know or feel to be true for your baby. It took so many tears and so much despair for me to finally REFUSE to be told my son was fine, when I knew he wasn't. He ended up having a milk allergy and it took almost 2 months for me to get answers because I didn't want to cry wolf and I didn't want to tell a doctor I knew they were wrong. But finally, after talking to another mom friend and having her tell me about 10 times- "YOU KNOW YOUR BABY. YOU KNOW WHEN SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT. YOU ARE AROUND 24/7 AND IF YOU ARE BEING BLOWN OFF BY HIS PEDIATRICIAN, YOU MUST FIND A NEW ONE. A GOOD PEDIATRICIAN KNOWS TO VALUE A MOTHERS OPINION. AND YOU NEED TO HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO STAND BY YOUR INSTINCTS AND MOTHERING SKILLS TO TELL THAT DOCTOR HE/SHE IS WRONG." That was such a crucial and hard lesson for me to learn. But the most important I think, almost any mother can learn. Our kids pediatricians often think they know everything because of experience or knowledge or training, but we forget that they provide only blanket advice and rarely have specific or random cases of something that they are willing to examine for OUR baby. And we often forget, I think, that we do now our babies. And we do know if something changes and something is wrong with them. Our pediatricians, though many are great, only see a glimpse of our child, one time a month or 3 months, even. And therefore we need to trust ourselves as these little angels have been entrusted to us to care for and get to know and make the best decisions possible for every part of their wellbeing- physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.
This will be a running dialogue as my son is only 6 months old now and im sure there are just years and years of things to learn!!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
My Parenting Book Recommendations
Ill give my reasons and what I learned from them soon, but here is the list of my favorite parenting books and what they have helped me with:
On Becoming Baby Wise, by Gary Ezzo
Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old, by Suzy Giordano
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau
Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
and
The Wonder Weeks by Hetty van de Rijy and Frans Plooji
On Becoming Baby Wise, by Gary Ezzo
Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old, by Suzy Giordano
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau
Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
and
The Wonder Weeks by Hetty van de Rijy and Frans Plooji
My beloved Savannah Danielle Clark
So the day is fast approaching- the four year anniversary of my little sister's death. I can't believe its been four years now. In just a few short months she would be 21. Wow, 21 years old. She was 17 years old when she decided that life was too hard to live, and she didn't have enough to live for. The sad thing is that so so many of us feel this way at 17 or 14, or whatever age it is. But few of us actually take steps to do anything about it.
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I don't have that much to say cause its too hard, still. But someday I think, I will do my part to help use her story for the glory of God. That's what she would have wanted anyway. Until then, I will just have to spend every moment of everyday, loving, missing, and thinking of her.. and awaiting our reunion in heaven. With Jesus.
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I dont have I.T. yet but the negativity has already begun!
From what I have heard, the life of a mother to Irish Twins is most often met with some sort of negativity, like "Oh you poor thing!" "Oh you must be SOOO busy" or even the occasional "Well that's dumb" or "Shame on you!" If not that, then it is met with positivity/ relation such as "Aw, I bet they will be/are so close!" Or "Mine are 13 months apart. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on..." or if you are lucky, "Mine are 15 months apart and they love eachother so much and do everything together!"
When I found out I was pregnant, 4 pregnancy tests I 3 hours and 3 brands later, when Jonny was only a couple months old I was in total shock. My thoughts ranged from shock and upset: "Oh, no, I'm not ready to be pregnant again! I hated being pregnant!" to DISBELIEF: "WAIT, HOW FAR APART WILL THEY BE!?" to guilt and DUH!: "Well, I wasn't preventing pregnancy so what did I expect?" to some bit of excitement: "Aw Jonny will have a playmate!" and even to fear: "Labor was the most physically traumatized and painful thing I have ever experienced, AHH!!!"
But Jonathan and I agreed, as we always have, that every child is a gift from our Father and if it happened, it is a part of his plan. We agreed that we would accept this child with nothing but open arms full of love and excitement.
We decided not to tell our family until we were further along. And friends, until we were much further along, because we knew to expect some form of negativity, from someone. And at this point I wasn't even ready to accept it mentally, myself!
At 10 weeks, we told our families and they were SURPRISINGLY even MORE excited about this baby than Jonny!! Don't get me wrong, they all love babies, but when we announced we were pregnant only 2 months after we were married there was a lot of shock going around, for everyone! But now that they know we are capable, alert, and loving parents and of COURSE what a cute and sweet baby we already have, they were MORE excited. My mom, who hung up on me, practically, when I told her I was pregnant the first time cause she couldn't even talk, started crying and said "I'm so happy". It was such a tender moment. Of everyone in the whole world- HER approval was the one I most cared about. We have always been close, save for a few teenage years, but hearing YOUR own mother, approve of your job as a mom, and be SO happy that you are going to be a mom again, and so soon, was all I needed to hear to be confident. Her reaction changed my heart in one moment. I went from scared and fearful and apprehensive to happy, excited and actually having to hold the news in.
Of course fear would creep in and I would constantly remind myself that Jonny wouldn't be 4 months, he would be 12, almost, when this baby came. And I would do it just as I did it the first time. And as a friend told me, with 3 babies under 3, "You no longer judge yourself, you just take one day at a time, and you SURVIVE. That is your mission EVERY DAY!" That was helpful. EVery day I learn to lower my expectations of myself, not try to be Rachel Ray in the kitchen, Dear Abby in the household chores, Nicole Kidman as a Stepford Wife with my husband, Gisele Bundchen in my baby weight loss, and all while being a full time mom and keeping my hair and makeup done and wearing only jeans and a cute top. Most days I don't do anything but take care of my son, clean his bottles, get a load of laundry in, order take-out and send my hubby to the grocery store- all while wearing yoga pants and a hoodie with spit up and puffs all over it. But every day I strive to help Jonny learn things, love on my husband and stay reminded of those little sayings/poems like, Song for a Fifth Child
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
and "Good moms have sticky floors, dirt ovens and happy kids".
It helps to keep things in perspective. You can ALWAYS clean the kitchen, but your 6 month old will not always be wanting a cuddle or a kiss or some time learning to sit up.
But I should stay on topic. So I knew there would be some negativity involved in this announcement and I honestly contemplated pulling some kind of thing of actually not announcing my pregnancy until the baby was born! REALLY! But my mom was SO excited to tell people that she kept bugging me and I realized it wasn't fair to make her keep that in much longer. So we made the decision to announce it after we found out that gender. We did this is hopes that the announcement and the shock would be somewhat deferred by the GENDER being announced. It went just fine and most people were happy even if I did get the occasional "That was fast!" or "Youre a baby-making machine." All meant in jest and fun, im sure, but its hard to hear too, cuase of course I don't want to be looked at as a HEIFER (pregnant cow) or be told I'm a sex addict which is sorta what "baby-making machine" sounds like.
But that was only the beginning. At my ultrasound appointment to find out the gender of this baby, we encountered an old lady, at the counter in line in front of us. Of course she smiled at Jonny and then asked us why we were there. I said I was there for an ultrasound. She looked at my "barely-showing-probably-mostly-leftovers-from-Jonny" belly and looked at Jonny and back at my belly and HUMPFED and said "Well, you're as dumb as I was!
Wow, um, ok. Thank you! What do you even say to that? She proceeded to tell us she had five kids, was formerly a Navy nurse and that once I had "THIS ONE" and pointed to my belly" I should "take her advice and QUIT."
Alrighty, then. Thank you! You're so kind and gentle. And well-wishing. But I am choosing to not be angry or even annoyed and laugh it off because I need to toughen up my skin! Getting married after not only MEETING ONLINE, but after knowing each other only 6 months, and then welcoming your first child 10 months later and then getting pregnant with your 2nd only 2 months after that? Well, the world doesn't like people like me! They think im immature, dumb, desperate, and probably many other things. But you know what? You have only ONE life to live and you must live it making decisions YOU are accountable for and do things that YOU want to live with.
Im sure this is only the beginning! So we'll see what lovely comments come my way in the future!
When I found out I was pregnant, 4 pregnancy tests I 3 hours and 3 brands later, when Jonny was only a couple months old I was in total shock. My thoughts ranged from shock and upset: "Oh, no, I'm not ready to be pregnant again! I hated being pregnant!" to DISBELIEF: "WAIT, HOW FAR APART WILL THEY BE!?" to guilt and DUH!: "Well, I wasn't preventing pregnancy so what did I expect?" to some bit of excitement: "Aw Jonny will have a playmate!" and even to fear: "Labor was the most physically traumatized and painful thing I have ever experienced, AHH!!!"
But Jonathan and I agreed, as we always have, that every child is a gift from our Father and if it happened, it is a part of his plan. We agreed that we would accept this child with nothing but open arms full of love and excitement.
We decided not to tell our family until we were further along. And friends, until we were much further along, because we knew to expect some form of negativity, from someone. And at this point I wasn't even ready to accept it mentally, myself!
At 10 weeks, we told our families and they were SURPRISINGLY even MORE excited about this baby than Jonny!! Don't get me wrong, they all love babies, but when we announced we were pregnant only 2 months after we were married there was a lot of shock going around, for everyone! But now that they know we are capable, alert, and loving parents and of COURSE what a cute and sweet baby we already have, they were MORE excited. My mom, who hung up on me, practically, when I told her I was pregnant the first time cause she couldn't even talk, started crying and said "I'm so happy". It was such a tender moment. Of everyone in the whole world- HER approval was the one I most cared about. We have always been close, save for a few teenage years, but hearing YOUR own mother, approve of your job as a mom, and be SO happy that you are going to be a mom again, and so soon, was all I needed to hear to be confident. Her reaction changed my heart in one moment. I went from scared and fearful and apprehensive to happy, excited and actually having to hold the news in.
Of course fear would creep in and I would constantly remind myself that Jonny wouldn't be 4 months, he would be 12, almost, when this baby came. And I would do it just as I did it the first time. And as a friend told me, with 3 babies under 3, "You no longer judge yourself, you just take one day at a time, and you SURVIVE. That is your mission EVERY DAY!" That was helpful. EVery day I learn to lower my expectations of myself, not try to be Rachel Ray in the kitchen, Dear Abby in the household chores, Nicole Kidman as a Stepford Wife with my husband, Gisele Bundchen in my baby weight loss, and all while being a full time mom and keeping my hair and makeup done and wearing only jeans and a cute top. Most days I don't do anything but take care of my son, clean his bottles, get a load of laundry in, order take-out and send my hubby to the grocery store- all while wearing yoga pants and a hoodie with spit up and puffs all over it. But every day I strive to help Jonny learn things, love on my husband and stay reminded of those little sayings/poems like, Song for a Fifth Child
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
and "Good moms have sticky floors, dirt ovens and happy kids".
It helps to keep things in perspective. You can ALWAYS clean the kitchen, but your 6 month old will not always be wanting a cuddle or a kiss or some time learning to sit up.
But I should stay on topic. So I knew there would be some negativity involved in this announcement and I honestly contemplated pulling some kind of thing of actually not announcing my pregnancy until the baby was born! REALLY! But my mom was SO excited to tell people that she kept bugging me and I realized it wasn't fair to make her keep that in much longer. So we made the decision to announce it after we found out that gender. We did this is hopes that the announcement and the shock would be somewhat deferred by the GENDER being announced. It went just fine and most people were happy even if I did get the occasional "That was fast!" or "Youre a baby-making machine." All meant in jest and fun, im sure, but its hard to hear too, cuase of course I don't want to be looked at as a HEIFER (pregnant cow) or be told I'm a sex addict which is sorta what "baby-making machine" sounds like.
But that was only the beginning. At my ultrasound appointment to find out the gender of this baby, we encountered an old lady, at the counter in line in front of us. Of course she smiled at Jonny and then asked us why we were there. I said I was there for an ultrasound. She looked at my "barely-showing-probably-mostly-leftovers-from-Jonny" belly and looked at Jonny and back at my belly and HUMPFED and said "Well, you're as dumb as I was!
Wow, um, ok. Thank you! What do you even say to that? She proceeded to tell us she had five kids, was formerly a Navy nurse and that once I had "THIS ONE" and pointed to my belly" I should "take her advice and QUIT."
Alrighty, then. Thank you! You're so kind and gentle. And well-wishing. But I am choosing to not be angry or even annoyed and laugh it off because I need to toughen up my skin! Getting married after not only MEETING ONLINE, but after knowing each other only 6 months, and then welcoming your first child 10 months later and then getting pregnant with your 2nd only 2 months after that? Well, the world doesn't like people like me! They think im immature, dumb, desperate, and probably many other things. But you know what? You have only ONE life to live and you must live it making decisions YOU are accountable for and do things that YOU want to live with.
Im sure this is only the beginning! So we'll see what lovely comments come my way in the future!
It's beginning to look a lot like.. FALL!
We began taking Jonny on walks here in Carlisle, PA, now that's its gotten a little less hot. Most days now its around 70 in the early evening and its a fun tradition and way to be active as a family and get quality time with just US, since we're living with my husband's parents for another month. We enjoy every minute together and my next project is going to buy some yummy MINT hot chocolate and some disposable cups so I can make us hot chocolate on cold days. Its getting really beautiful here. I was explaining to Jonathan that being from South Florida, I don't know if there is such thing as being "a nature girl." Its really just "beach girl" "surfer" "tanner" etc. Anything OUTDOORS involves WATER naturally. But I am definitely a sucker for fall. Wearing scarves, drinking hot drinks, smelling cookouts, outdoor evening little boys football games, UGGs; it just doesn't get any better. And now WALKS! with my two BOYS! Yesterday we dressed Jonny in a new sweatshirt that I got him for the cold, and silly me thought 12 months size would give him some room to grow! But whoops! Even as a 6 month old, there's just not much room to grow in the future! Oh well! Itll be comfy while it lasts!
 |
| Cuddling with my da-da |
 |
| Its getting really pretty out! Our view from our "walks" |
 |
| Everyday we go on a 30 minute walk in the evening before bed, and I just sit silently sucking away on my binky, loving every second of it! IF it isn't too chilly me, mommy, and daddy go on the swings at the park! |
 |
| My new jammies for the cold weather! |
 |
| My new coat and pant set from Grandma Brenda! |
Cooking my first Thanksgiving Dinner/ Recipes
This year will be my second MARRIED Thanksgiving, my first Thanksgiving with a child (and my last with only 1!) and my first Thanksgiving ALONE, to cook and celebrate with just my little family! Two Thanksgivings or so, ago, we spent some time at my grandmother's house. On the food Network Anne Burrell was cooking a sort of APPLE themed turkey dinner. It looked SO good and me and my dad couldn't stop talking about how much we wanted to eat her meal! She brined the turkey for day in Apple Cider and veggies and then cooked it with an herb rub and it looked juicy and tender and crispy. Also she made an apple, walnut, sausage stuffing on the side. I decided this year I will be making that!
I asked the hubby what types of Thanksgiving dishes he thinks are crucial and IMAGINE that! We had the exact same list!
Turkey (not cause we ADORE it but because its a tradition we want to have)
Stuffing
Mashed Potatoes
Gravy
Sweet Potato Casserole
Green bean Casserole
Cranberry Sauce
I think that's it. I think that is what the menu will be. I could go crazy and make 12 dishes for us 2 people but what would we do with all that food. We could potentially have people over but I don't know that I want my first experience, which could be a disaster, to be with 3 other families. Also, I want ALL the leftovers frozen so we can eat it for a long time!!! :) Here are the websites/ recipes I will be using!
I don't really think you can go wrong with Martha!: for Mashed Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole and Cranberry Sauce.
http://www.marthastewart.com/274421/thanksgiving-side-dish-recipes/@center/276949/everything-thanksgiving#/256663
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Ingredients
- 8 medium russet potatoes (about 4 pounds)
- 1 head peeled garlic cloves (about 15)
- Coarse salt
- 1 1/2 cups milk
- 1/2 cup butter (1 stick), cut into small pieces
Directions
1. Peel potatoes and quarter lengthwise; cut crosswise 1/2 inch thick. In a 5-quart saucepan, combine potatoes and garlic cloves; cover with water (about 8 cups) by 1 inch. Add 1 tablespoon salt.
2. Bring to a boil; reduce heat, and simmer until potatoes are easily pierced with the tip of a paring knife, 25 to 30 minutes.
3. Drain; return garlic and potatoes to pan. Stir over medium-high heat until dry, 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from heat.
4. In a small saucepan, bring milk to a boil; pour over potatoes. Add butter and 1 teaspoon of salt. Mash until smooth and creamy.
Prep Time35 minutes
Total Time50 minutes
Yield Serves 8
Ingredients
3 cups vegetable oil
6 large shallots, cut into very thin rounds, rings separated
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
Coarse salt and ground pepper
2 pounds green beans, trimmed and halved
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
1 pound button mushrooms, trimmed and coarsely chopped
14.5 ounces low-sodium chicken broth
1 cup whole milk
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium. Line a baking sheet with paper towels. In a large bowl, toss together shallots and 1 1/4 cups flour until shallots are evenly coated. In batches, shake off excess flour from shallots and fry until golden and crisp, about 5 minutes, adjusting heat if shallots are browning too quickly. With a slotted spoon, transfer to sheet and season with salt. Set aside. (Store in an airtight container at room temperature with a layer of paper towels underneath, up to 2 days.)
In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook green beans until crisp-tender, 6 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking. Pat dry. (To store, refrigerate in a resealable plastic bag, up to 1 day.)
2. In a large saucepan, melt butter over medium-high. Add mushrooms and cook until liquid has evaporated, about 7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Add 1/4 cup flour and cook, stirring, until incorporated, about 1 minute. Whisking constantly, gradually add broth, then milk. Bring to a simmer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until sauce thickens, about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. (To store, refrigerate with plastic wrap on surface, up to 2 days. Reheat before using.)
3. Add green beans to mushroom sauce and toss to coat. Transfer mixture to a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Bake until bubbling around edges, about 15 minutes. Serve topped with fried shallots.Cranberry and Dried-Cherry Relish
- Prep Time5 minutes
- Total Time30 minutes
- Yield Makes 3 cups
Ingredients
- 1 package (12 ounces) fresh or frozen cranberries
- 1 cup dried cherries
- 1 cup sugar
- 2 cups water
Directions
- In a large saucepan, combine cranberries (no need to thaw if frozen), cherries, sugar, and water.
Bring to a boil; reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer until most berries have burst and liquid is syrupy, 20 to 25 minutes. Transfer to a bowl. Cover, pressing plastic wrap directly on surface of relish; refrigerate.
or
Cranberry Sauce with Dried Figs
- Yield Makes 2 1/2 cups
Ingredients
- 1 bag fresh or frozen (thawed) cranberries
- 5 ounces dried Calimyrna figs, halved (about 1 cup)
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1/4 cup dry red wine or cranberry juice
Directions
- In a small saucepan, combine all the ingredients; cook over low heat until most of the cranberries have burst, about 15 minutes.
- Transfer cranberry sauce to a small bowl. Let cool; cover, and refrigerate up to 3 days. Let stand at room temperature, 30 minutes, before serving.
The glorious Apple Thanksgiving recipes of Anne Burrell: for Stuffing, Gravy and Turkey:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/brined-herb-crusted-turkey-with-apple-cider-gravy-recipe/index.html + http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sausage-apple-and-walnut-stuffing-recipe/index.html
Brined Herb-Crusted Turkey with Apple Cider Gravy
Recipe courtesy Anne Burrell- Prep Time:
- 1 hr 0 min
- Inactive Prep Time:
- 48 hr 0 min
Cook Time:- 4 hr 0 min
Ingredients
Brine:
- 7 quarts water
- 1 quart apple cider
- 3/4 cup kosher salt
- 1/3 cup granulated sugar
- 1 large onion, diced
- 1 large or 2 small carrots, diced
- 3 ribs celery, diced
- 1 head garlic, cut in 1/2 equatorially
- 1/2 bunch fresh rosemary
- 1/2 bunch fresh sage
- 6 bay leaves
- 1 (12 to 14 pound) turkey, free range organic is great!
Herb crust:
- 1 bunch fresh rosemary, leaves finely chopped
- 1 bunch fresh sage, leaves finely chopped
- 3 sticks butter, room temperature
- Kosher salt
Gravy:
- 1 large onion, cut into 1/2-inch dice
- 1 large or 2 small carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch dice
- 2 ribs celery, cut into 1/2-inch dice
- 4 cloves garlic, smashed
- 2 Granny Smith apples, cut into 1/2-inch dice
- 5 bay leaves
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 1 bunch thyme
- Kosher salt
- 1 quart chicken stock, divided
- 2 cups apple cider, divided
- 1/2 to 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
Directions
Special equipment: butcher's twine
To brine the turkey: Combine all of the ingredients for the brine in a large container. Add the turkey and let it brine in the refrigerator for 2 to 3 days.
To prepare the turkey for cooking: Remove the turkey from the brine the night before roasting and pat it thoroughly dry with paper towels. Combine the rosemary, sage, and butter for the herb crust in a small bowl. Season, to taste, with kosher salt. Work the butter under the skin of the turkey and massage it into the breasts and the legs. Massage the butter on the outside of the skin as well. Tie the legs together over the breast so they will protect it during cooking and help keep it moist and juicy.
Gravy preparation: Put the onions, carrots, celery, garlic, apples, bay leaves, cinnamon stick and thyme in a roasting pan and season with salt. Arrange the turkey on top of the veggies and refrigerate overnight UNCOVERED! Yes, that's right, uncovered. This will help the skin dry out and become really brown and crispy. Make sure that there is no raw food near the turkey in the refrigerator. After refrigerating overnight, the turkey is ready to go in the oven.
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
Put 2 cups chicken stock and 1 cup apple cider in the bottom of the roasting pan. Roast the turkey in the preheated oven until the skin gets really nice and brown, about 40 minutes. Lower the oven heat to 350 degrees F for the remainder of the cooking time. Baste the turkey every 30 minutes or so and add more stock to the roasting pan, if needed. Cook about 17 minutes per pound. Once it gets to the proper color, tent the turkey with aluminum foil to prevent it from getting too dark.
Remove the turkey from the oven when an instant-read thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the turkey registers 160 degrees F. Make sure that the thermometer is not touching a bone when doing the reading. When the turkey has reached the proper temperature, remove it from the roasting pan to a cutting board and let it rest for at least 30 minutes. Cover loosely with aluminum foil.
Strain all the veggies over a bowl to separate them from the stock/mixture. Discard the veggies. Skim off the fat and add it to the roasting pan. This is the fat for the roux. Put the roasting pan over 2 burners and over a low heat and whisk in the flour. Cook until the mixture looks like wet sand, about 4 to 5 minutes. Slowly whisk in the remaining 1 cup apple cider, remaining chicken stock and the stock/cider mixture. Cook until the mixture has thickened and reached a gravy consistency. Taste and adjust the seasoning. Pour into a serving pitcher or bowl.
Carve the turkey, transfer to a serving platter and serve with the gravy.
Sausage, Apple, and Walnut Stuffing
Recipe courtesy Anne Burrell- Prep Time:
- 20 min
- Inactive Prep Time:
- --
- Cook Time:
- 1 hr 0 min
Ingredients
- Extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 large onion, finely diced
- 3 ribs celery, finely diced
- Kosher salt
- 3 cloves garlic, smashed and finely diced
- 1 pound spicy sausage, casing removed, broken up into bite-size chunks
- 3 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and cut into 1-inch dice
- 1 cup apple cider
- 1/2 bunch sage, leaves finely chopped
- 3/4 cup coarsely chopped walnuts
- 10 cups stale rustic bread, crusts discarded, cut into 1-inch cubes; or fresh bread slices toasted until crispy but no color, cut into 1-inch cubes
- 2 to 3 cups chicken stock
Directions
Coat a large saute pan, over medium heat, with olive oil and add the onions and celery. Season with salt and cook until the veggies start to become soft and are very aromatic. Add the garlic and cook for another 1 to 2 minutes. Add the sausage and cook until the sausage browns. Stir in the apples and apple cider and cook until the apples start to soften, about 3 to 4 minutes. Sprinkle in the sage leaves and the walnuts and turn off the heat.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Add the diced bread and toss together. Pour in the chicken stock and knead with your hands until the bread is very moist, actually wet. Taste to check for seasoning and season with salt, if needed, (it does). Transfer to a large deep ovenproof dish (roughly 9 by 11 inches) and bake until it is hot all the way through and crusty on top.
Remove from the oven and serve.
For the Sweet Potato Casserole recipe I will be using my moms.. One of Jonathan's favorites!
350degrees, 45 minutes, no cover
4 large sweet potatoes
1/4 cup milk
2 eggs
1.5 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup butter
Cook and mash potatoes. Add remaining ingredients and put in a casserole dish.
1/2 stick of butter
1/4 cup sugar
dash cinnamon
2 tbsp. flour
1 cup of chopped nuts (we all prefer walnuts)
Melt butter and mix with other ingredients. Put on top of potatoe snad bake for 45 minutes.
Sometimes with toppings on Apple-Berry Crisp, Moussaka with the Béchamel on top or this recipe, I double the topping part of the recipe, because everyone ends up trying to scrape extra off for their helping and fighting over it. Its a crunchy delicious topping, so you may as well put extra!
Can't wait for my first Thanksgiving! And happy that my husband has recently gotten into cooking and really enjoys learning how to help! Its like having a sous chef!
Jonny Milestones 5&6
Month 5&6
Around 2 months old Jonny began waking frequently after going to bed, usually an hour or so after going down. Sometimes this would happen for hours. He also began sleeping for a half hour at a time during the day. I tried keeping him on an Eat, Play, Sleep routine and scheduling out his feedings so I would know exactly when he would be eating/hungry and thus know my windows of opportunity to get out and take him with me (church, errand, etc). Also, I am an extremely structured individual, because I have always found that a schedule and knowing ahead of time what the plan is, keeps me from worrying about anything. A friend told me that her daughter also began doing that at this age and that she started giving her Tylenol before bed, because she thought it was teething. Occasionally this helped but not always. But around 5 months I finally started letting Jonny cry it out for 5-10 minutes when he would wake in the night. We also started not giving him his pacifier during naps because we realized that he had actually developed an addiction to his pacifier. This is when a baby wakes, every time their pacifier falls out of their mouth when they are entering a deep sleep, or if they hit the end of a sleep cycle, rather than turning over and going back to sleep, they need their pacifier to do so. It was a hard transition but over 1 week, one VERY hard week with lots of tears from mommy and baby, we kicked the habit.
Around this time we went to VA to visit Jonny's great aunties and I had ot start giving him his pacifier to go back to sleep. But I made a vow to never again replace it at night or at the end of a nap to help him get back to sleep. If he woke in the night I would either ignore him for several minutes and give him the chance to self-soothe or I would use the SHH/pat method by the Baby Whisperer Tracey Hogg. Because this was a relatively new thing/habit, only about a month old and he had no other issues like lack of routine or structure or the need to be pacified with a bottle to go to sleep, it was pretty easy. He learned very quickly. Occasionally he will still wake in the night at either 9ish pm and will almost always wake between 4-530 am. Sometimes I can wait it out and he will go back to sleep, other times he is up for the day. He is doing really well now that he is 6.5 months old. We moved his waketime from a rigid 2.5 hours to a more flexible time of approximately 2 hours. I watch for his tired cues and the day usually goes like this...
6am wake/eat (usually between 5 and 7) up for 1 hour and 40 minutes; solids.
7:40 Nap 1. Goes down without a peep
9:40 wake/eat- 10am
11:40 Nap 2. Again no problems.
Usually sleeps an hour and a half
1:10pm wake/ eat-2pm
Awake 2hrs and 15 minutes; solids
3:25 Nap 3. this is usually the only nap that occasionally he fights. Im aware that somewhere between now and a year old he should drop this nap.
4pm wake/ solids.
Somewhere between 2.5 and 3 hours. Sometimes he fights bedtime so when he goes to sleep is up to him.
Its a schedule I love and can easily live with. there should be any major changes soon except for maybe 15 minutes extra waketime before each nap and then dropping that third nap. Most babies keep a 3.5 hour napping amount until about 18 months. Then his 1st nap should drop out, leaving him with just a 2 hour afternoon nap around age 1.5/2 to age 3/4.
He sleeps 12 hours at night typically. And things are very easy and predictable. With this next baby it is very imperative that I relax and let the SCHEDULE be flexible for his age and once he is sleeping through the night, we will work on nap extensions if he needs it. One mistake I will NOT make again is making his waketime too long for his age. That was a big mistake. But no real harm done!
Month 5 Jonny got 2 teeth- His two bottom teeth! the first I didn't notice until he bit me! and the second was 10 days of HELL! He cried constantly, didn't want to eat or sleep, was crabby, wouldn't smile, woke a lot in the night. But luckily we are through that.
Month 6: the week he became 6 months old he began sitting up on his own. He has always been in the upper 90s, percentile-wise for his head size, so I think he took a little bit longer to build up those neck muscles! Also, on Sept 28 my Mother-in-law noticed he got an upper canine tooth! The right one. and when I looked the next day he had the other canine tooth and perhaps one of the upper front ones! That's 3 teeth in 2 days! Wow! And he never uttered one word of protest/complaint. What a tough guy! At his appointment this month, he weighed in at 19lbs and 27.5 in. He also got his 4 vaccines, and he didn't even cry!! What a tough guy, again!!
His favorite words/ syllables/ things to do are:
GUG, GING, GUNG, GANG, GUH. He also loves to respond to all questions directed at him with a head shake. I think he perhaps did it by accident but we all responded with such emotion- laughing, pointing, etc- that he does it all the time now. Once when Jonathan was telling him a story (I regularly make Jonathan direct what hes saying to me, at Jonny, so he will learn participation in conversations) and after every sentence, Jonny would shake his head no. We laughed hysterically. It was so funny because Jonathan kept responded with "Yes, huh, that's what happened Jonny!" and jonny would respond with a head shake. He also began "giving kisses" to himself with a mirror in his favorite book, and to me by gently touching my face and pressing his open mouth against my face. Whenever Daddy asks for a kiss though Jonny will shake his head and/or turn his face away. Almost ALWAYS. He loves chewing on everything and he LOVES to scoot around in his walker that his Shaw grandparents gave to him a week ago! He will sometimes show up in the kitchen when I just glanced at him in the living room! Guess I gotta start watching him now! It isn't just a few inches now, its across the room!
He loves to gurgle when he lays on his back. He also will sit through a church service without making any noise. He LOVES to sit and listen to his daddy go through the English and German alphabets and the English and German numbers 1-20. He will listen intently to the English and the moment Jonathan switches to German (which we would like to teach him- because Jonathan speaks it) Jonny gets a huge smile on his face!! He just loves it. We also sign to him, simple commands like please, thank you, eat, drink, come here and a letter J for Jonny. Occasionally we will do mommy and daddy signs.
Jonny loves his grandma and she takes him outside and shows him her flower garden. He loves playing peek-a-boo with his grandpa. He also adores his baths and sits up for them now with a seat (once his sitting is perfect, we will take the seat out). He loves to drink out of cups and water bottles. He always tries to take my cups of water, glass and all and drink them exactly like I do. If only, I knew he wouldnt just poor them all over his face, I might let go!
We take him on a walk almost every evening, unless it is raining or we have to go somewhere, and he loves it. There is a park on this installation, right on a beautiful nature trail that we go to most days. They have a baby swing and he loves it! he giggles and smiles and loves with Daddy pushes him up very high! A daredevil, already! GREAT! :(
Also he eats solids at least three times a day, loves Puffs and loves Mum-mums (rice cakes, basically). Hes usually a good eater, though not the last few days, as he is teething and has little interest in eating much of anything. He absolutely loves grapes and strawberries in his mesh-feeder and will eat them til I take it away or stop refilling it. He drinks out of his sippy cup alone. His favorite solids remain: Carrots, Prunes and Apples. He also loves Pear-Spinach babyfood by Gerber. I feed him all organic at this point just for the reason of pesticides that they have found in baby food. It shouldn't surprise us but with his system being so young, I don't yet want to flood his body with poison used to kill bugs. Its hard to provide him with variety while still avoiding all things with milk.
Also, we have started introducing SOY formula with his hypoallergenic formula. We never determined if he was allergic to soy and it is a much more affordable option than Alimentum. The same can-size of Alimentum is 27.99, while Soy is 16.99. Add a 5 dollar off vendor check that Similac mails you for each can, and were looking at only 11 or so dollars per can! Not bad, for name brand formula! Being that he has suffered so much already I like keeping him on name-brand stuff just because I know I can trust it. People argue that its all the same and they all have the same restrictions and criteria to meet, but it makes ME feel better. Were doing half and half for each bottle and will wait at least 4 weeks to switch him fully over to Soy. The reason for not using Soy to begin with is that Cow's milk takes approximately 10-14 days to leave their system and Soy only takes two. So to switch him from cows to soy, would not have left me much clue as to what would be causing another canker. Was it still the cows milk that wasn't in his system? Or was it now soy? So I just did the full-on switch over to hypoallergenic. Now that he is six months old and has had no reactions to any other food and I have fed him almost all veggies and fruits, allowed at his age, as well as rice and barley cereal, and even some meat, I figured I could give Soy a chance. Worst case scenario, since he has had 2 days of Soy formula several months ago and didn't have any anaphylaxis, he would get another canker, in which case I would immediately take him off and we would wait til at least a year old. The proteins in cow's milk and soy are so similar that many babies/kids are allergic to both, rather than just one.
Also we started brushing his teeth at 6 months! They said you should practice the hygiene as soon as they get the teeth. He loves it! He constantly gets the shivers when I do it though cause it tickles!
Some highlights from these last two months!
I cant wait to see just how much he will grow up next month!
Around 2 months old Jonny began waking frequently after going to bed, usually an hour or so after going down. Sometimes this would happen for hours. He also began sleeping for a half hour at a time during the day. I tried keeping him on an Eat, Play, Sleep routine and scheduling out his feedings so I would know exactly when he would be eating/hungry and thus know my windows of opportunity to get out and take him with me (church, errand, etc). Also, I am an extremely structured individual, because I have always found that a schedule and knowing ahead of time what the plan is, keeps me from worrying about anything. A friend told me that her daughter also began doing that at this age and that she started giving her Tylenol before bed, because she thought it was teething. Occasionally this helped but not always. But around 5 months I finally started letting Jonny cry it out for 5-10 minutes when he would wake in the night. We also started not giving him his pacifier during naps because we realized that he had actually developed an addiction to his pacifier. This is when a baby wakes, every time their pacifier falls out of their mouth when they are entering a deep sleep, or if they hit the end of a sleep cycle, rather than turning over and going back to sleep, they need their pacifier to do so. It was a hard transition but over 1 week, one VERY hard week with lots of tears from mommy and baby, we kicked the habit.
Around this time we went to VA to visit Jonny's great aunties and I had ot start giving him his pacifier to go back to sleep. But I made a vow to never again replace it at night or at the end of a nap to help him get back to sleep. If he woke in the night I would either ignore him for several minutes and give him the chance to self-soothe or I would use the SHH/pat method by the Baby Whisperer Tracey Hogg. Because this was a relatively new thing/habit, only about a month old and he had no other issues like lack of routine or structure or the need to be pacified with a bottle to go to sleep, it was pretty easy. He learned very quickly. Occasionally he will still wake in the night at either 9ish pm and will almost always wake between 4-530 am. Sometimes I can wait it out and he will go back to sleep, other times he is up for the day. He is doing really well now that he is 6.5 months old. We moved his waketime from a rigid 2.5 hours to a more flexible time of approximately 2 hours. I watch for his tired cues and the day usually goes like this...
6am wake/eat (usually between 5 and 7) up for 1 hour and 40 minutes; solids.
7:40 Nap 1. Goes down without a peep
9:40 wake/eat- 10am
11:40 Nap 2. Again no problems.
Usually sleeps an hour and a half
1:10pm wake/ eat-2pm
Awake 2hrs and 15 minutes; solids
3:25 Nap 3. this is usually the only nap that occasionally he fights. Im aware that somewhere between now and a year old he should drop this nap.
4pm wake/ solids.
Somewhere between 2.5 and 3 hours. Sometimes he fights bedtime so when he goes to sleep is up to him.
Its a schedule I love and can easily live with. there should be any major changes soon except for maybe 15 minutes extra waketime before each nap and then dropping that third nap. Most babies keep a 3.5 hour napping amount until about 18 months. Then his 1st nap should drop out, leaving him with just a 2 hour afternoon nap around age 1.5/2 to age 3/4.
He sleeps 12 hours at night typically. And things are very easy and predictable. With this next baby it is very imperative that I relax and let the SCHEDULE be flexible for his age and once he is sleeping through the night, we will work on nap extensions if he needs it. One mistake I will NOT make again is making his waketime too long for his age. That was a big mistake. But no real harm done!
Month 5 Jonny got 2 teeth- His two bottom teeth! the first I didn't notice until he bit me! and the second was 10 days of HELL! He cried constantly, didn't want to eat or sleep, was crabby, wouldn't smile, woke a lot in the night. But luckily we are through that.
Month 6: the week he became 6 months old he began sitting up on his own. He has always been in the upper 90s, percentile-wise for his head size, so I think he took a little bit longer to build up those neck muscles! Also, on Sept 28 my Mother-in-law noticed he got an upper canine tooth! The right one. and when I looked the next day he had the other canine tooth and perhaps one of the upper front ones! That's 3 teeth in 2 days! Wow! And he never uttered one word of protest/complaint. What a tough guy! At his appointment this month, he weighed in at 19lbs and 27.5 in. He also got his 4 vaccines, and he didn't even cry!! What a tough guy, again!!
His favorite words/ syllables/ things to do are:
GUG, GING, GUNG, GANG, GUH. He also loves to respond to all questions directed at him with a head shake. I think he perhaps did it by accident but we all responded with such emotion- laughing, pointing, etc- that he does it all the time now. Once when Jonathan was telling him a story (I regularly make Jonathan direct what hes saying to me, at Jonny, so he will learn participation in conversations) and after every sentence, Jonny would shake his head no. We laughed hysterically. It was so funny because Jonathan kept responded with "Yes, huh, that's what happened Jonny!" and jonny would respond with a head shake. He also began "giving kisses" to himself with a mirror in his favorite book, and to me by gently touching my face and pressing his open mouth against my face. Whenever Daddy asks for a kiss though Jonny will shake his head and/or turn his face away. Almost ALWAYS. He loves chewing on everything and he LOVES to scoot around in his walker that his Shaw grandparents gave to him a week ago! He will sometimes show up in the kitchen when I just glanced at him in the living room! Guess I gotta start watching him now! It isn't just a few inches now, its across the room!
He loves to gurgle when he lays on his back. He also will sit through a church service without making any noise. He LOVES to sit and listen to his daddy go through the English and German alphabets and the English and German numbers 1-20. He will listen intently to the English and the moment Jonathan switches to German (which we would like to teach him- because Jonathan speaks it) Jonny gets a huge smile on his face!! He just loves it. We also sign to him, simple commands like please, thank you, eat, drink, come here and a letter J for Jonny. Occasionally we will do mommy and daddy signs.
Jonny loves his grandma and she takes him outside and shows him her flower garden. He loves playing peek-a-boo with his grandpa. He also adores his baths and sits up for them now with a seat (once his sitting is perfect, we will take the seat out). He loves to drink out of cups and water bottles. He always tries to take my cups of water, glass and all and drink them exactly like I do. If only, I knew he wouldnt just poor them all over his face, I might let go!
We take him on a walk almost every evening, unless it is raining or we have to go somewhere, and he loves it. There is a park on this installation, right on a beautiful nature trail that we go to most days. They have a baby swing and he loves it! he giggles and smiles and loves with Daddy pushes him up very high! A daredevil, already! GREAT! :(
Also he eats solids at least three times a day, loves Puffs and loves Mum-mums (rice cakes, basically). Hes usually a good eater, though not the last few days, as he is teething and has little interest in eating much of anything. He absolutely loves grapes and strawberries in his mesh-feeder and will eat them til I take it away or stop refilling it. He drinks out of his sippy cup alone. His favorite solids remain: Carrots, Prunes and Apples. He also loves Pear-Spinach babyfood by Gerber. I feed him all organic at this point just for the reason of pesticides that they have found in baby food. It shouldn't surprise us but with his system being so young, I don't yet want to flood his body with poison used to kill bugs. Its hard to provide him with variety while still avoiding all things with milk.
Also, we have started introducing SOY formula with his hypoallergenic formula. We never determined if he was allergic to soy and it is a much more affordable option than Alimentum. The same can-size of Alimentum is 27.99, while Soy is 16.99. Add a 5 dollar off vendor check that Similac mails you for each can, and were looking at only 11 or so dollars per can! Not bad, for name brand formula! Being that he has suffered so much already I like keeping him on name-brand stuff just because I know I can trust it. People argue that its all the same and they all have the same restrictions and criteria to meet, but it makes ME feel better. Were doing half and half for each bottle and will wait at least 4 weeks to switch him fully over to Soy. The reason for not using Soy to begin with is that Cow's milk takes approximately 10-14 days to leave their system and Soy only takes two. So to switch him from cows to soy, would not have left me much clue as to what would be causing another canker. Was it still the cows milk that wasn't in his system? Or was it now soy? So I just did the full-on switch over to hypoallergenic. Now that he is six months old and has had no reactions to any other food and I have fed him almost all veggies and fruits, allowed at his age, as well as rice and barley cereal, and even some meat, I figured I could give Soy a chance. Worst case scenario, since he has had 2 days of Soy formula several months ago and didn't have any anaphylaxis, he would get another canker, in which case I would immediately take him off and we would wait til at least a year old. The proteins in cow's milk and soy are so similar that many babies/kids are allergic to both, rather than just one.
Also we started brushing his teeth at 6 months! They said you should practice the hygiene as soon as they get the teeth. He loves it! He constantly gets the shivers when I do it though cause it tickles!
Some highlights from these last two months!
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| Jonny learned he would be a big brother this month and he was excited to say the least! These are a few of his 6 month photos that we took to announce the new baby, due Feb 24! |
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| He looks like a little boy in this photo! Not just a little baby!!! Hes growing up! |
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| I think he loves his daddy more than anybody!! |
Jonny Milestones- Month 1&2
Month 1:
Jonny went to his first week checkup and 1st month checkup. He was born at 7'11 and 21 inch and in the first week was at 8lbs and 21.5 inches! What a fast grower! He was on Enfamil Newborn formula and was taking in a whopping 32 ounces some days! He slept around the clock and was fed every three hours. He cried at his first bath, and once before bed. I had a feeling by the outburst that it was pain and I immediately opened his diaper. The moment I pulled it back he stopped and breathed in deeply like "AHHH".. I think something was hurting his poor little circumcision. Both episodes lasted about 30 seconds. Hes never again cried during a bath, but we had to make the water very hot. It seems the hotter, the better. He is his daddy's son!
He had no problems with spitting up, eating, sleeping, gas. Anything. He was the quietest little mouse I had ever met! And when I looked back in my baby book, the main comment about me as a newborn "Quiet as a mouse!" How fun to be able to see something like that.
We took him at 6 days old to get his photos taken at SEARS. He didn't object in the least. He was totally cooperative and did so well through multiple outfit changes. At almost two weeks old, his Shaw family came into town, including his grandfather, 2 aunts and great-grandfather. Everyone adored him and was so excited at his arrival. His aunties were especially thrilled and extremely in awe. He was baptized on the second Sunday of his life at Shepherd of the City Lutheran Church by his grandfather Jonathan Shaw, with Pastor Jeffrey Pulse assisting. Also that Sunday, his mommy, me, was confirmed into the LCMS Lutheran church. We went to dinner and he peed all over me in the bathroom the second I took his diaper off. He peed on many people, including all over his aunt Cayleigh's arm and hair. Within about 20 seconds of that happening I heard the shower upstairs running. :) The constant waking in the night was not wearing me out much, yet and although I was healing from birth and tired from all the work of a new baby, the emotions and Jonny's refusal to breastfeed were all very taxing on me mentally. All in all, though, it was a wonderful first month and I enjoyed most every minute!
At the doctor's office, during one of his early checkups, a heart murmur was heard and we were referred to a cardiologist for an echocardiogram to make sure everything looked ok.
All family left and I was relieved to not have to share Jonny and be able to really spend time getting to know him alone, with just my husband. NO regrets having them around I just needed space to spend time with this new little person.
Month 2:
This month was when Jonny first began showing signs of eczema and symptoms that something was not quite right. At 6 weeks old he had still not cried, save for the bath and the 30 second pain cry. When I told the doctor she was concerned and called me to next day saying that she had spoken to some of her pediatrician friends and they didn't think that was normal. They hadn't heard of such a thing. Being that he never cried for food, though he would make little squeaking and panting noises (thus, still communicating), they considered that cause for some alarm. After she called me, and I agreed to be referred to a neurologist for him, he had actually started crying about something about 30 minutes later. What a little smarty! Around the end of this month he began to drink 1-2 ounces of formula at the 3 hour mark and then he would start screaming and crying. On my first Mother's Day with a baby, I finally decided that regardless of whatever was going on with him and despite the fact that I thought something was actually wrong, I was going to go shopping after church. We slept a little during church and at the mall and then when he was burping after, in his little bit of spit up, was blood. I became really panicked and immediately called the clinic at Parkview hospital. The lady was extremely concerned and helpful and got us right in.
The experience was the worst I ever had, regarding disrespect. Its very hard to explain to anyone, especially a foreigner, that even though one of your main reasons of being concerned is that your baby CRIES, you know something else is wrong. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him talk me out of it. He said 2 ounces was normal at that age, even though I said it was not normal. I was told "that's what babies do, they cry," even when I said, but this baby DOESN'T. And I was told "yes, it could be teething." "Give him some Tylenol" was his advice and he dismissed me after checking his body minimally and seeing nothing. I said he had eczema and that was met with "give him fewer baths and lotion him."- All of which I had been doing.
Over the course of the next week, Jonny did not get better. He had bouts of time when he would eat well, and then he would start to scream again. Reflux? The formula? Gas? I had no clue what it could be. All the research in the world did not turn up anything I could go on. Everyone assured me he was probably fine. And I couldn't seem to get any support. It was a very hard time cause I didn't want to cry wolf but I also didn't want to let my son suffer. Naturally you also don't want to find out some terrible news like Finally I made an appointment for him to see his pediatrician, after insisting that something was wrong. She was gracious and was "concerned" as well. She took one look at him and pried his mouth open and said "Well, there's the problem." I can't tell you the relief I felt as KNOWING she knew! And that I wasn't wrong! Every mom needs that confidence! She discovered a canker sore on his soft palate that was the size of 3/4 of a dime! There was blood all over it and on his tongue. She said that he had Herpes and prescribed Tylenol and Acyclovir. He got seemingly better over the next few days. But then it flared up again right before a trip to Florida to visit my family.
He couldn't eat, he was sleeping poorly, his eczema was now on his face and his mouth was bleeding again. A lot. He cried a lot and so did I. We took him into a pediatric place in FL and the lady confirmed the diagnosis of Herpes (where did he get that from?) but swabbed his cankers (new ones and old ones) and changed the "eczema" diagnosis to atopic dermatitis (from cradle cap flaking onto his face- except that he didn't really have any). She upped his dose of Acyclovir. Everyone seemed to be dismissing everything as something minor. The next afternoon he was drooling on his arm and his sleeve was drenched in drool and some blood. That was the last straw for Jonathan. He called the pediatrician we had just seen and she recommended that we take him to the E.R in West Palm- St Mary's because they had a Children's Emergency room. We took him there.
It took a couple hours to get in. By 11pm they had attempted to start an I.V in him in multiple locations- finally getting one in his big toe. They had given him a spinal tap and we had met with a doctor that said it was imperative they start an IV on him in case it was Herpes, because it could go to his brain- being that he was so young, only 8 weeks old. They would give him fluids and Acyclovir intravenously and wait for the swab and blood results to come back. We stayed up all night until in the wee hours of the morning, a bassinet was available and a private room, in the ER was given to us. Most people just had to sit in the halls or on stretchers in corners. It was such a terrible few days. I was SO scared for my baby and I felt so terrible for all the things he had to go through.
A wonderful doctor, Chad Sanborn, an Infectious Disease Specialist told us, off the record, that he did not know what it was, but that he wasn't convinced it was herpetic lesions. He said it did not look like it and the results that came back so far, suggested no rise in WBC count, thus indicating his body was not fighting anything- bacterial or viral. That second night that we were there a nurse had to keep changing out his medications in his IV and in a moment of rushing knocked his precious IV out. I was asleep when this happened and they took Jonny out of the room with Jonathan to try to restart it somewhere else. They tried his scalp, his neck, and multiple other places. I woke to him screaming FAR AWAY and when I opened my eyes and he was gone I ran out of the room. He had about 5 nurses holding him down while they tried pushing a needle into his skull. I was SO upset. But I just had to stand there and let them do it, realizing that if it was Herpes and it was advancing, this could save his life. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Watching my baby be literally tortured and having to stand there and watch it and not do anything about it. If I think about it today I still cry.
We left the hospital after being there for two and a half days, after another series of failed attempts to get an IV in. I finally said, NO MORE. Realizing that the likelihood of his having Herpes and having contracted it from no one, was so rare. They released us saying there was no reason to stay if he wasn't getting fluids and meds from them. They called us a few days later and confirmed that all results for anything they tested for were negative. Although that was a relief, it was hard to hear to because now he still had cankers and there was supposed "nothing wrong" with him. Recurrent Aphthous Stomatitis is a "disease" where someone just gets canker sores for no apparent reason, often and there's really nothing that can be done about it.
A friend of my sisters, wrote on my sister's status how she was praying for Jonny and how her daughter had also dealt with canker sores as a baby. It didn't click in my head til one day, when I was driving that her daughter had multiple food allergies. Something in my head was telling me from day one of the canker sores diagnosis that it had something to do with his formula. But I could offer no reason for thinking that. Just, intuition. He was on Gerber GoodStart at this point and I wondered if it was the sugar content or if he was vitamin B deficient- all some speculations for reasons for cankers. I didn't change his formula but while driving that day, I suddenly thought- her daughter had a milk allergy, and she had canker sores. I literally turned my car around and drove home. I jumped online and started researching cankers and eczema and found some IMMEDIATE links to allergies. I didn't believe it could be this simple. I got my friends number and called her right then. She told me all about her daughter's allergy to milk and symptoms and she encouraged me to try this. She believed it was the same thing and practically cried with me over how upsetting it is, and how little support she got. I called his pediatrician and told her that this is what I thought it was after trying Gentlease and Zantac, in case it was acid reflux eroding his throat. He had begun spitting up LARGE amount of his formula at every bottle around this time. Overall he had had 7 canker sores in 5 weeks. From 8-13 weeks. She promptly said I could try a hypoallergenic formula like Enfamil Nutramigen or Similac Alimentum but she was pretty sure it was not an allergy. "He has no blood in his stool." Not only was this infuriating because she never asked if he did, never offered a test- hemocult- to check for blood, but also because she was dismissing a solution/idea for a baby who was otherwise COMPLETELY healthy but had these terrible canker sores and was hospitalized over it. This made me angry but so did the fact that she never did a test to see If a baby who had no reason for having HERPES did have it, and thus we ended up in the ER, 30,000 dollars and some terrible emotional distress later. My husband was even madder than I was. I had to focus al my energy on my son though.
I switched him to Alimentum and he never had a canker sore after that. He healed right up, all his eczema went away, which even prescription lotion and ointment, oatmeal baths or other treatments could not clear up and he has never had a single issue since.
That month Jonny had his 2 month vaccines and he cried his poor little heart out. Poor guy. Also his auntie B came to visit him from Kenya and they were in love with eachother. Jonny smiled more for her than anyone else thus far. Still, to this day, he smiles at her like crazy, every time he sees her! She's his favorite I think!
Jonny went to his first week checkup and 1st month checkup. He was born at 7'11 and 21 inch and in the first week was at 8lbs and 21.5 inches! What a fast grower! He was on Enfamil Newborn formula and was taking in a whopping 32 ounces some days! He slept around the clock and was fed every three hours. He cried at his first bath, and once before bed. I had a feeling by the outburst that it was pain and I immediately opened his diaper. The moment I pulled it back he stopped and breathed in deeply like "AHHH".. I think something was hurting his poor little circumcision. Both episodes lasted about 30 seconds. Hes never again cried during a bath, but we had to make the water very hot. It seems the hotter, the better. He is his daddy's son!
He had no problems with spitting up, eating, sleeping, gas. Anything. He was the quietest little mouse I had ever met! And when I looked back in my baby book, the main comment about me as a newborn "Quiet as a mouse!" How fun to be able to see something like that.
We took him at 6 days old to get his photos taken at SEARS. He didn't object in the least. He was totally cooperative and did so well through multiple outfit changes. At almost two weeks old, his Shaw family came into town, including his grandfather, 2 aunts and great-grandfather. Everyone adored him and was so excited at his arrival. His aunties were especially thrilled and extremely in awe. He was baptized on the second Sunday of his life at Shepherd of the City Lutheran Church by his grandfather Jonathan Shaw, with Pastor Jeffrey Pulse assisting. Also that Sunday, his mommy, me, was confirmed into the LCMS Lutheran church. We went to dinner and he peed all over me in the bathroom the second I took his diaper off. He peed on many people, including all over his aunt Cayleigh's arm and hair. Within about 20 seconds of that happening I heard the shower upstairs running. :) The constant waking in the night was not wearing me out much, yet and although I was healing from birth and tired from all the work of a new baby, the emotions and Jonny's refusal to breastfeed were all very taxing on me mentally. All in all, though, it was a wonderful first month and I enjoyed most every minute!
At the doctor's office, during one of his early checkups, a heart murmur was heard and we were referred to a cardiologist for an echocardiogram to make sure everything looked ok.
All family left and I was relieved to not have to share Jonny and be able to really spend time getting to know him alone, with just my husband. NO regrets having them around I just needed space to spend time with this new little person.
Month 2:
This month was when Jonny first began showing signs of eczema and symptoms that something was not quite right. At 6 weeks old he had still not cried, save for the bath and the 30 second pain cry. When I told the doctor she was concerned and called me to next day saying that she had spoken to some of her pediatrician friends and they didn't think that was normal. They hadn't heard of such a thing. Being that he never cried for food, though he would make little squeaking and panting noises (thus, still communicating), they considered that cause for some alarm. After she called me, and I agreed to be referred to a neurologist for him, he had actually started crying about something about 30 minutes later. What a little smarty! Around the end of this month he began to drink 1-2 ounces of formula at the 3 hour mark and then he would start screaming and crying. On my first Mother's Day with a baby, I finally decided that regardless of whatever was going on with him and despite the fact that I thought something was actually wrong, I was going to go shopping after church. We slept a little during church and at the mall and then when he was burping after, in his little bit of spit up, was blood. I became really panicked and immediately called the clinic at Parkview hospital. The lady was extremely concerned and helpful and got us right in.
The experience was the worst I ever had, regarding disrespect. Its very hard to explain to anyone, especially a foreigner, that even though one of your main reasons of being concerned is that your baby CRIES, you know something else is wrong. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him talk me out of it. He said 2 ounces was normal at that age, even though I said it was not normal. I was told "that's what babies do, they cry," even when I said, but this baby DOESN'T. And I was told "yes, it could be teething." "Give him some Tylenol" was his advice and he dismissed me after checking his body minimally and seeing nothing. I said he had eczema and that was met with "give him fewer baths and lotion him."- All of which I had been doing.
Over the course of the next week, Jonny did not get better. He had bouts of time when he would eat well, and then he would start to scream again. Reflux? The formula? Gas? I had no clue what it could be. All the research in the world did not turn up anything I could go on. Everyone assured me he was probably fine. And I couldn't seem to get any support. It was a very hard time cause I didn't want to cry wolf but I also didn't want to let my son suffer. Naturally you also don't want to find out some terrible news like Finally I made an appointment for him to see his pediatrician, after insisting that something was wrong. She was gracious and was "concerned" as well. She took one look at him and pried his mouth open and said "Well, there's the problem." I can't tell you the relief I felt as KNOWING she knew! And that I wasn't wrong! Every mom needs that confidence! She discovered a canker sore on his soft palate that was the size of 3/4 of a dime! There was blood all over it and on his tongue. She said that he had Herpes and prescribed Tylenol and Acyclovir. He got seemingly better over the next few days. But then it flared up again right before a trip to Florida to visit my family.
He couldn't eat, he was sleeping poorly, his eczema was now on his face and his mouth was bleeding again. A lot. He cried a lot and so did I. We took him into a pediatric place in FL and the lady confirmed the diagnosis of Herpes (where did he get that from?) but swabbed his cankers (new ones and old ones) and changed the "eczema" diagnosis to atopic dermatitis (from cradle cap flaking onto his face- except that he didn't really have any). She upped his dose of Acyclovir. Everyone seemed to be dismissing everything as something minor. The next afternoon he was drooling on his arm and his sleeve was drenched in drool and some blood. That was the last straw for Jonathan. He called the pediatrician we had just seen and she recommended that we take him to the E.R in West Palm- St Mary's because they had a Children's Emergency room. We took him there.
It took a couple hours to get in. By 11pm they had attempted to start an I.V in him in multiple locations- finally getting one in his big toe. They had given him a spinal tap and we had met with a doctor that said it was imperative they start an IV on him in case it was Herpes, because it could go to his brain- being that he was so young, only 8 weeks old. They would give him fluids and Acyclovir intravenously and wait for the swab and blood results to come back. We stayed up all night until in the wee hours of the morning, a bassinet was available and a private room, in the ER was given to us. Most people just had to sit in the halls or on stretchers in corners. It was such a terrible few days. I was SO scared for my baby and I felt so terrible for all the things he had to go through.
A wonderful doctor, Chad Sanborn, an Infectious Disease Specialist told us, off the record, that he did not know what it was, but that he wasn't convinced it was herpetic lesions. He said it did not look like it and the results that came back so far, suggested no rise in WBC count, thus indicating his body was not fighting anything- bacterial or viral. That second night that we were there a nurse had to keep changing out his medications in his IV and in a moment of rushing knocked his precious IV out. I was asleep when this happened and they took Jonny out of the room with Jonathan to try to restart it somewhere else. They tried his scalp, his neck, and multiple other places. I woke to him screaming FAR AWAY and when I opened my eyes and he was gone I ran out of the room. He had about 5 nurses holding him down while they tried pushing a needle into his skull. I was SO upset. But I just had to stand there and let them do it, realizing that if it was Herpes and it was advancing, this could save his life. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Watching my baby be literally tortured and having to stand there and watch it and not do anything about it. If I think about it today I still cry.
We left the hospital after being there for two and a half days, after another series of failed attempts to get an IV in. I finally said, NO MORE. Realizing that the likelihood of his having Herpes and having contracted it from no one, was so rare. They released us saying there was no reason to stay if he wasn't getting fluids and meds from them. They called us a few days later and confirmed that all results for anything they tested for were negative. Although that was a relief, it was hard to hear to because now he still had cankers and there was supposed "nothing wrong" with him. Recurrent Aphthous Stomatitis is a "disease" where someone just gets canker sores for no apparent reason, often and there's really nothing that can be done about it.
A friend of my sisters, wrote on my sister's status how she was praying for Jonny and how her daughter had also dealt with canker sores as a baby. It didn't click in my head til one day, when I was driving that her daughter had multiple food allergies. Something in my head was telling me from day one of the canker sores diagnosis that it had something to do with his formula. But I could offer no reason for thinking that. Just, intuition. He was on Gerber GoodStart at this point and I wondered if it was the sugar content or if he was vitamin B deficient- all some speculations for reasons for cankers. I didn't change his formula but while driving that day, I suddenly thought- her daughter had a milk allergy, and she had canker sores. I literally turned my car around and drove home. I jumped online and started researching cankers and eczema and found some IMMEDIATE links to allergies. I didn't believe it could be this simple. I got my friends number and called her right then. She told me all about her daughter's allergy to milk and symptoms and she encouraged me to try this. She believed it was the same thing and practically cried with me over how upsetting it is, and how little support she got. I called his pediatrician and told her that this is what I thought it was after trying Gentlease and Zantac, in case it was acid reflux eroding his throat. He had begun spitting up LARGE amount of his formula at every bottle around this time. Overall he had had 7 canker sores in 5 weeks. From 8-13 weeks. She promptly said I could try a hypoallergenic formula like Enfamil Nutramigen or Similac Alimentum but she was pretty sure it was not an allergy. "He has no blood in his stool." Not only was this infuriating because she never asked if he did, never offered a test- hemocult- to check for blood, but also because she was dismissing a solution/idea for a baby who was otherwise COMPLETELY healthy but had these terrible canker sores and was hospitalized over it. This made me angry but so did the fact that she never did a test to see If a baby who had no reason for having HERPES did have it, and thus we ended up in the ER, 30,000 dollars and some terrible emotional distress later. My husband was even madder than I was. I had to focus al my energy on my son though.
I switched him to Alimentum and he never had a canker sore after that. He healed right up, all his eczema went away, which even prescription lotion and ointment, oatmeal baths or other treatments could not clear up and he has never had a single issue since.
That month Jonny had his 2 month vaccines and he cried his poor little heart out. Poor guy. Also his auntie B came to visit him from Kenya and they were in love with eachother. Jonny smiled more for her than anyone else thus far. Still, to this day, he smiles at her like crazy, every time he sees her! She's his favorite I think!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Jonny's Birth Story
Jonathan Eberhardt Shaw III
Although an induction was not ideal, I chose to be induced so that I could have my mom, dad and littlest sister fly in from Florida to be there for the birth. Also, my husband wanted his mom there. We also had to plan a baptism because my husband's father was doing the baptizing so his sisters and grandpa had to buy plane tickets, as well. I was due March 21, 2012 but i chose to be induced a week early, so i could insure i wouldnt go into labor without my mom there. We dont live near any family, and probably never will, as we are an Army family, so i was induced the morning of March 15, arriving at the hospital at 6am.
I was checked in and started on pitocin (maybe something else?). I didnt pay attention to the clock all day cause i wasnt interested in that at all. My husband said contractions started around 9. I loved my nurse! I was unsure whether i wanted an epidural. I would have loved to believe i could handle the pain, but i didnt want to have "medically induced contractions" that were extra painful like evryone said and miss the anesthesiologist. I dont have a high pain tolerance but i still kinda wanted to try. The nurse told me she had five kids. She had an epidural with only the last one cause she said she figured she should experience it, being that she was a nurse, so she could recommend it to patients (for occasions such as this). She said if she knew then what she knew now, she would, hands down, have had epidurals with all five. It pretty much convinced me then, to have one. I was never afraid of getting an epidural. Little did i know, after the agonizing, months-long decision of epidural or not, wouldnt even matter, cause it didnt work. So anyways, the contractions began and it was pretty shocking to me. I "never had Braxton-Hicks" that i knew of, and my mom assured me i wouldnt KNOW if i had had them. Well, when they started, i realized i had been feeling them all along. What i thought was Jonny just pressing against my side, had been contractions for at least a month! When i went in for my 38 week check-up the doctor told me i was 3cm. I wondered how that was possible, since i hadnt had any contractions. Now i know why!
My doctor came around 10am. I hadnt progressed at that point, but it had all just begun anyway. So he said he would come back a little later to check on me and break my water if i was slowly progressing. Contractions never really hurt too bad, but maybe that was because i only got to 6 before i was offered the epidural. They were painful but nothing like "the demons ripping me apart on the inside" that my mother-in-law had described. My mother-in-law had a retroverted uterus and that caused her TERRIBLE pain during labor. She pushed for hours until finally they realized why. They turned her on both sides, once, and out her baby came. I found out later that i also have a retorverted uterus. At some point the doctor came back and i was progressing a bit- to maybe 5 cm. He estimated i could have the baby by dinnertime- though he assured me he only ever guessed for fun, not cause he had any clue! My husband stepped out of the room to use the bathroom before the doc got there and by the time he got back, the doctor had already broken my water. My hubby, a bachelor's in Kinesiology (study of the body's functions) was SO sad that he had missed that! He was SO eager to see every last bit of scientific stuff there was to see and learn about.
After that the anesthesioloist came in to give me my epi and i started shaking uncontrollably. I guess i was scared after all! Even if i wouldnt admit it to myself! I could not stop for what felt like 5 minutes. He was gruff but said it was ok, cause he had to prep anyway. The nurse assured me it would stop soon and it did. Luckily he caught me between contractions or i may have flinched! It would have been hard to sit still for! After the epidural i was immediately numb (my legs and belly) but the numbness wasnt going high enough. They do a temp test with a wet pad and i could still feel things where i shouldnt have. Or something like that. They brought him back in and he checked me out. He gave me a stronger medication in the epidural. Nothing changed. I didnt worry too much at the time. It was numbing my contractions, so i wasnt worried. At some point they checked me again- maybe around 5pm (the day was flying by! I had been there 12 hours already and it seemed like 3, surprisingly!) and i was 8 cm. However, Jonny was only at a -2 station. The way i understand that is that he had only dropped a tiny bit. (from -1, and he needed to get to somewhere around +3, which is crowning, i think?) Now, i think that that was maybe because of my retroverted uterus.
Around this time, i think, i started having some pressure deep inside me. It didnt bother me too much at first but eventually it was almost intolerable. It was constant, unlike contractions where you get a break. Around this time, they also noticed that the baby's heartrate was dropping a bit, with each contraction. The nurse kept going in and out of the room and at some point i heard "c-section" and it was that dreaded moment i had seen on "A Baby Story" when they tell you you need a C-section. But they assured me they were just going to watch him closely at that point. And about that time I started feeling the urge to push, which im told doesnt always happen, when you have an epidural. They never did take me off the epidural since it wasnt working well to begin with. The new nurse (who i couldn't stand, go figure), at about 9pm, checked me during my failed attempts not to push, and said i was at a 10. However Jonny was still at a -2. The doctor informed me afterward that he wasnt sure i was going to be able to push him all the way out from that far back.
The nurse told me i could push whenever i wanted to- which was this intense urge, that never stopped. On TV, its always this broken-up thing, between contractions, but i literally could have pushed for 45 five straight minutes without a breath if i could have lived. It was the strangest thing i have ever felt! The nurse and Jonathan both held my legs while i pushed, in the dark, and i kept thinking- arent there supposed to be lights and doctors and nurses? After a few pushes, she said, ill be right back and dropped my leg. She came back in right away with a little team of ladies who started turning on lights and pulling out blankets. They set one on me and my doctor came in out of breath. My mom told me later that Dr. Stroud went running by them in the waiting room and said "Im off to deliver a baby." My mother-in-law and mom started jumping up and down and dancing around the room. Good thing i wasnt there or i would have said, shut up and sit down! Behave yourselves! :)
He came in and after maybe 10 minutes (seemed like 2) but the most painful 10 minutes of my life, out came my baby boy! I thought i was going to die the whole time and they kept having to tell me to stop and breathe, cause i was doing 20 second pushes. All i wanted was for it to be over. I realized when they laid him on chest after he came out, that i had forgotten what was going on! I forgot why all this was happening and that i was about to meet my baby. It hurt so bad i felt like i was in another world. When he came out they laid my little Jonny right on my chest, he was perfectly clean. He looked like he had just been dipped in a bucket of water. I remember thinking, "Arent they supposed to be all bloody and white?" Now, Jonathan jokes that even Jonny came out clean cause he knew how important i think cleanliness is!
When he laid there, he just stated at me. He didnt wrinkle his nose. He didnt move, except for constant blinking. He didn't make a single sound. I started patting his back and worriedly asked "WHY ISN'T HE CRYING?!" They took him away and the doctor said- hes breathing, hes just a quiet little one! They stitched me up and i delivered the placenta a minute after they took Jonny away. Of course my hubby had to go examine it. He was so excited. He said Jonny looked like a quiet, proper, little Englishman. I never did hear him cry, but they said he was fine. They suctioned him out but he still just laid there quietly, blinking rapidly. They handed him to me and he just stared at me. Never made a sound. I didnt know this then, but he would only cry once- and that was when i wasnt with him and he was getting his sponge bath the next day! He slept through his circumcision and 6 weeks later he began crying. right before we scheduled a brain scan to make sure he was healthy. The pediatrician said she had never heard of such a thing (a baby not crying for 6 weeks after bith) and was worried about him. He started crying a few hours after we spoke on the phone. :) Smartiepants!
After Jonny was born, I remember thinking that there was NO way i could ever do this again. It hurt so bad and the thought of it would send me straight into tears. I wonder how women do it naturally, if i had some of the contractions numbed. Perhaps it was partly my retroverted uterus, or maybe thats just how bad the pain is. Thats my only experience so thats all i can go by: guesses. the hardest part, minus the last 2 hours of labor was breastfeeding. Jonny would touch my breast for a split second and then yank his head away. I had about 5 nurses/ lactation consultants come by and none of them coulg get him to breastfeed. It had been two days and he REFUSED to take any part in breastfeeding. They monitored his blood sugar levels and said he was fine thus far, but he did need to eat by the time he left the hospital. I had tried pumping and a nipple shield, but developed a blister in just 24 hours. So that became too painful. And the nipple shield helped minorly but of course whatever colostrum did come out- a drop or two, didnt make it to his mouth. Eventually I gave him some formula and tried and failed for 2 more weeks after his birth. I pumped even when the milk came in, and cried the whole time from pain, and the most that ever came out was a half ounce. I gave that to him but nothing more really came out. So formula it had to be. I am now pregnant with my second baby, a boy, and he is due February 24, 2013: just a few weeks before Jonny's first birthday. They say the first labor is usually the hardest, so i hope that that is true. I plan on an epidural this time as well, as I could barely stand it with the epidural last time!
Jonathan Eberhardt Shaw III is his name because his daddy is the second and his grandpa is the first. My husband grew up hating his middle name, but go figure he wanted to pass it on. He says "How many people are the III? Thats cool!" Hope he doesnt hate us for that one! But my husband did inform me while we were dating that his first son WOULD be named after him!
This little boy, is the GREATEST thing that has ever happened to me. He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving and gentle little boy I have ever met. He spends all day smiling and making gurgling noises, sleeps like a champ and even gives kisses already. So- I cant wait to be a mom to a second little one. Hoping hes as happy and healthy as my Jonny-boy!
Although an induction was not ideal, I chose to be induced so that I could have my mom, dad and littlest sister fly in from Florida to be there for the birth. Also, my husband wanted his mom there. We also had to plan a baptism because my husband's father was doing the baptizing so his sisters and grandpa had to buy plane tickets, as well. I was due March 21, 2012 but i chose to be induced a week early, so i could insure i wouldnt go into labor without my mom there. We dont live near any family, and probably never will, as we are an Army family, so i was induced the morning of March 15, arriving at the hospital at 6am.
I was checked in and started on pitocin (maybe something else?). I didnt pay attention to the clock all day cause i wasnt interested in that at all. My husband said contractions started around 9. I loved my nurse! I was unsure whether i wanted an epidural. I would have loved to believe i could handle the pain, but i didnt want to have "medically induced contractions" that were extra painful like evryone said and miss the anesthesiologist. I dont have a high pain tolerance but i still kinda wanted to try. The nurse told me she had five kids. She had an epidural with only the last one cause she said she figured she should experience it, being that she was a nurse, so she could recommend it to patients (for occasions such as this). She said if she knew then what she knew now, she would, hands down, have had epidurals with all five. It pretty much convinced me then, to have one. I was never afraid of getting an epidural. Little did i know, after the agonizing, months-long decision of epidural or not, wouldnt even matter, cause it didnt work. So anyways, the contractions began and it was pretty shocking to me. I "never had Braxton-Hicks" that i knew of, and my mom assured me i wouldnt KNOW if i had had them. Well, when they started, i realized i had been feeling them all along. What i thought was Jonny just pressing against my side, had been contractions for at least a month! When i went in for my 38 week check-up the doctor told me i was 3cm. I wondered how that was possible, since i hadnt had any contractions. Now i know why!
My doctor came around 10am. I hadnt progressed at that point, but it had all just begun anyway. So he said he would come back a little later to check on me and break my water if i was slowly progressing. Contractions never really hurt too bad, but maybe that was because i only got to 6 before i was offered the epidural. They were painful but nothing like "the demons ripping me apart on the inside" that my mother-in-law had described. My mother-in-law had a retroverted uterus and that caused her TERRIBLE pain during labor. She pushed for hours until finally they realized why. They turned her on both sides, once, and out her baby came. I found out later that i also have a retorverted uterus. At some point the doctor came back and i was progressing a bit- to maybe 5 cm. He estimated i could have the baby by dinnertime- though he assured me he only ever guessed for fun, not cause he had any clue! My husband stepped out of the room to use the bathroom before the doc got there and by the time he got back, the doctor had already broken my water. My hubby, a bachelor's in Kinesiology (study of the body's functions) was SO sad that he had missed that! He was SO eager to see every last bit of scientific stuff there was to see and learn about.
After that the anesthesioloist came in to give me my epi and i started shaking uncontrollably. I guess i was scared after all! Even if i wouldnt admit it to myself! I could not stop for what felt like 5 minutes. He was gruff but said it was ok, cause he had to prep anyway. The nurse assured me it would stop soon and it did. Luckily he caught me between contractions or i may have flinched! It would have been hard to sit still for! After the epidural i was immediately numb (my legs and belly) but the numbness wasnt going high enough. They do a temp test with a wet pad and i could still feel things where i shouldnt have. Or something like that. They brought him back in and he checked me out. He gave me a stronger medication in the epidural. Nothing changed. I didnt worry too much at the time. It was numbing my contractions, so i wasnt worried. At some point they checked me again- maybe around 5pm (the day was flying by! I had been there 12 hours already and it seemed like 3, surprisingly!) and i was 8 cm. However, Jonny was only at a -2 station. The way i understand that is that he had only dropped a tiny bit. (from -1, and he needed to get to somewhere around +3, which is crowning, i think?) Now, i think that that was maybe because of my retroverted uterus.
Around this time, i think, i started having some pressure deep inside me. It didnt bother me too much at first but eventually it was almost intolerable. It was constant, unlike contractions where you get a break. Around this time, they also noticed that the baby's heartrate was dropping a bit, with each contraction. The nurse kept going in and out of the room and at some point i heard "c-section" and it was that dreaded moment i had seen on "A Baby Story" when they tell you you need a C-section. But they assured me they were just going to watch him closely at that point. And about that time I started feeling the urge to push, which im told doesnt always happen, when you have an epidural. They never did take me off the epidural since it wasnt working well to begin with. The new nurse (who i couldn't stand, go figure), at about 9pm, checked me during my failed attempts not to push, and said i was at a 10. However Jonny was still at a -2. The doctor informed me afterward that he wasnt sure i was going to be able to push him all the way out from that far back.
The nurse told me i could push whenever i wanted to- which was this intense urge, that never stopped. On TV, its always this broken-up thing, between contractions, but i literally could have pushed for 45 five straight minutes without a breath if i could have lived. It was the strangest thing i have ever felt! The nurse and Jonathan both held my legs while i pushed, in the dark, and i kept thinking- arent there supposed to be lights and doctors and nurses? After a few pushes, she said, ill be right back and dropped my leg. She came back in right away with a little team of ladies who started turning on lights and pulling out blankets. They set one on me and my doctor came in out of breath. My mom told me later that Dr. Stroud went running by them in the waiting room and said "Im off to deliver a baby." My mother-in-law and mom started jumping up and down and dancing around the room. Good thing i wasnt there or i would have said, shut up and sit down! Behave yourselves! :)
He came in and after maybe 10 minutes (seemed like 2) but the most painful 10 minutes of my life, out came my baby boy! I thought i was going to die the whole time and they kept having to tell me to stop and breathe, cause i was doing 20 second pushes. All i wanted was for it to be over. I realized when they laid him on chest after he came out, that i had forgotten what was going on! I forgot why all this was happening and that i was about to meet my baby. It hurt so bad i felt like i was in another world. When he came out they laid my little Jonny right on my chest, he was perfectly clean. He looked like he had just been dipped in a bucket of water. I remember thinking, "Arent they supposed to be all bloody and white?" Now, Jonathan jokes that even Jonny came out clean cause he knew how important i think cleanliness is!
When he laid there, he just stated at me. He didnt wrinkle his nose. He didnt move, except for constant blinking. He didn't make a single sound. I started patting his back and worriedly asked "WHY ISN'T HE CRYING?!" They took him away and the doctor said- hes breathing, hes just a quiet little one! They stitched me up and i delivered the placenta a minute after they took Jonny away. Of course my hubby had to go examine it. He was so excited. He said Jonny looked like a quiet, proper, little Englishman. I never did hear him cry, but they said he was fine. They suctioned him out but he still just laid there quietly, blinking rapidly. They handed him to me and he just stared at me. Never made a sound. I didnt know this then, but he would only cry once- and that was when i wasnt with him and he was getting his sponge bath the next day! He slept through his circumcision and 6 weeks later he began crying. right before we scheduled a brain scan to make sure he was healthy. The pediatrician said she had never heard of such a thing (a baby not crying for 6 weeks after bith) and was worried about him. He started crying a few hours after we spoke on the phone. :) Smartiepants!
After Jonny was born, I remember thinking that there was NO way i could ever do this again. It hurt so bad and the thought of it would send me straight into tears. I wonder how women do it naturally, if i had some of the contractions numbed. Perhaps it was partly my retroverted uterus, or maybe thats just how bad the pain is. Thats my only experience so thats all i can go by: guesses. the hardest part, minus the last 2 hours of labor was breastfeeding. Jonny would touch my breast for a split second and then yank his head away. I had about 5 nurses/ lactation consultants come by and none of them coulg get him to breastfeed. It had been two days and he REFUSED to take any part in breastfeeding. They monitored his blood sugar levels and said he was fine thus far, but he did need to eat by the time he left the hospital. I had tried pumping and a nipple shield, but developed a blister in just 24 hours. So that became too painful. And the nipple shield helped minorly but of course whatever colostrum did come out- a drop or two, didnt make it to his mouth. Eventually I gave him some formula and tried and failed for 2 more weeks after his birth. I pumped even when the milk came in, and cried the whole time from pain, and the most that ever came out was a half ounce. I gave that to him but nothing more really came out. So formula it had to be. I am now pregnant with my second baby, a boy, and he is due February 24, 2013: just a few weeks before Jonny's first birthday. They say the first labor is usually the hardest, so i hope that that is true. I plan on an epidural this time as well, as I could barely stand it with the epidural last time!
Jonathan Eberhardt Shaw III is his name because his daddy is the second and his grandpa is the first. My husband grew up hating his middle name, but go figure he wanted to pass it on. He says "How many people are the III? Thats cool!" Hope he doesnt hate us for that one! But my husband did inform me while we were dating that his first son WOULD be named after him!
This little boy, is the GREATEST thing that has ever happened to me. He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving and gentle little boy I have ever met. He spends all day smiling and making gurgling noises, sleeps like a champ and even gives kisses already. So- I cant wait to be a mom to a second little one. Hoping hes as happy and healthy as my Jonny-boy!
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| Newborn baby Jonny |
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| I never knew it was possible to feel such intense physical pain, such emotional relief and joy and such overwhelmedness all at the same time. And I never knew it was possible for me to look this rough!! this is moments after giving birth! |
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| This is the next morning. My swaddled up baby boy. I was so tired but didn't want to miss a moment! I gave birth at 10:48pm and didn't go to bed until 2am. The nurses were in and out every hour or two after that. Let's just say theres no such thing as sleep in the hospital after your baby is born. |
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| Cutiepie |
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| He looked so much like his daddy as a baby, it was SCARY!!! |
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| Its amazing what a little makeup will do! Our new little family! |
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